I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
