That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
