Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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