so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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