Do you still have your period?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
