Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
