Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
