Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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