Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
