I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
