The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
