I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
