So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
