I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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