is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
