I heard we made out
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
