I am in a vortex of obligation.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
