At least make sure they are 18
Why
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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