Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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