enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
