Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
