How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
