I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I had to cum in my sink.
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