WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
