I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
