its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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