I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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