I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
