Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
