we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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