We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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