remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize