Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
