all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
