u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
