i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
