I just made out with a guy for $7.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
