Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
