Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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