im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
