then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
