I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
