My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
