well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
