why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
