And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
