Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
