i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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