You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
