i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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