No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
