My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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