i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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