Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
