happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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