I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
