I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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