Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
