You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize