How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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