bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
