dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
