what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
