You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
