SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
