When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
