My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
