Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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