that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
