We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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