the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
