My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
