Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
