Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize