I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
