Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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